Remember these brave men in the fire house next door to my east village apt
the dust covered people walking home in shock
running to the blood banks to see if our blood type is what they wanted…
stuffing socks in the window corners to keep smoke from entering our apt
the deafening silence but for sirens and engines …
of mobile mortuaries..
and how all of New York City became brothers
and sisters…
helping one another.
If You Plan On Going to New York…
I highly suggest you study these tips and etiquette NOW. (said the former New Yorker of 13 years)
Funny stuff…and true.
Do it.
Just in case you haven’t seen this video 1,000 times already on facebook…
Recently a friend posted a Jeff Buckley video on facebook and I was immediately transported back in time to the late 90’s, my first year in NYC, living as a poor struggling artist in the East Village. An actor friend introduced me to Jeff Buckley’s album “Grace.” This song most definitely should be included in the soundtrack of my life. Stop, listen and if you don’t know who he is… learn. If you know music, you should know who Jeff Buckley is.
Part two in my series of clever memes, articles and videos that made me think “Say what?” My new favorite facebook page this week is “So You Think You Can Gay”- a lot of this hilariousness came from that page.
1. Do it. (Scotland is my kind of country).
2. Don’t do it, man.
3. Burglars with a conscience? Read this
4. “Blurred Lines” begets blurred dancing in back seats. (Turn mute off)
This one is pretty funny, too. (I wish there were hashtag cops)
5. Now THIS is painting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AGiQkWfiCdY
From the moment I woke up this morning, I’ve been singing this song (flashbacks to kindergarten in Montréal maybe?). So, of course, I youtubed it and found this funky little version by Jean Francois Alexandre. Now I’ll never stop singing it. I thought I’d share it with you so you can get the same enjoyment. You’re welcome.
After a hilarious discussion about men that have graced our pasts as well as the pasts of other friends, my friend Denise and I agreed to write blog posts that would enlighten some ladies out there about the perils of dating in your twenties and possibly thirties…for some.
Though being happily married has taken me out of the dating game, I most definitely have a list of the one’s that you date and the ones that you don’t.
(No offense, gentlemen. Hopefully you find this post amusing-it’s all in fun)
But first, read Denise’s blog post because it’s beyond hilarious…and true.
Secondly, before I write anything,… if you can find the gentleman that you just met on this site, Dontdatehimgirl, you need to cut him loose asap.
Now that I’ve got you properly paranoid, onto the list:
1. The DJ: In your late teens, early twenties, it might be fun. You get into clubs for free. Drinks are free (among other substances) but …he’s a DJ. HELLO. Unless your game is stronger than his (as in your the hot chick dancing like a pro on the speakers while he’s DJing and you’re surrounded by a circle of male fans that keep him in check), then give it up. It’s quite likely that he’ll be trading you in for a wide eyed twink in about five minutes.
2. The Surfer: Waves are his women. He’s in love with the ocean. You are merely arm candy and someone to pass the time when there are no waves. Yeah, he’s hot and his talk of the ocean is deep, but more than likely, he’s got a wide range of STD’s.
3. “He’s in the band”– I don’t care if he’s the singer, the drummer (“but he’s so deep and emotional!”), the bass guitarist or the lead, he’s IN. A. BAND. Do you know why he’s in a band? Certainly not to have a long monogamous relationship with a girl that’s at home while he’s on tour. Capisce?
4. The Photographer: If he’s a landscape or nature photographer only, then go for it. But if he’s a fashion photographer or “enjoys photographing body landscapes,” JUST. SAY. NO. He’s surrounded by beautiful, NAKED models all day long. Unless he’s hideous, they will sleep with him. Actually, even if he is hideous, they’ll probably sleep with him.
5. The Actor: I know, I know. He’s pretty. He’s fun. There’s never a dull moment. He’s so spontaneous. But he’s CRAZY (and I quote the loveable Paul Rudd on this—he told me many years ago during a cocktail party in the west village that “All actors are crazy.” Paul Rudd wouldn’t lie.)
But maybe you like that. Maybe you like waking up next to a different personality every morning. It gets especially interesting if he’s the type that “stays in character” the whole time he’s in a play or shooting a movie. Good times.
6. The “I’m in an open marriage” Guy: They’re usually really hot, never wear wedding rings, and spring the “I’m in an open marriage” on you during the first date. Oh yeah, buddy? Does your wife know? How about you get her on the phone? I’d like to chat with her.
7. The Chef: He works from 9am-2:00am the following morning, chain smokes, and most likely does a lot of coke. Don’t believe me? Hello, read Anthony Bourdain’s memoirs. Maybe wait this one out and check back on him when he’s got his own restaurant under control (I have a soft spot for chefs).
8. The Writer: More than likely he’s an alcoholic, carries a flask on his person or a bottle in the trunk and has a secret addiction to adderall. BUT, you are his inspiration and you secretly love it. You are his muse.
Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
He’ll write about you
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
He’ll be writing about yoooooou.
9. The Importer/Exporter: He’s a drug dealer, plain and simple. Trust me on this.
10. The Stockbroker/Finance Guy: One of his best friends is the Importer/Exporter. He’s got about four to five women dangling at the same time and will break up with you via his personal assistant when someone else has taken the lead in his arm candy race. A dear friend of mine was a personal assistant for one of these lovely gentlemen. She got a $10,000 bonus at Christmas for her “troubles.”
I actually could add about twenty more to this list but I’ll save that for a later post. Or book.
My only advice to you ladies is to not be lured in by the glitz and bravado. When they talk a good game, they’re usually playing a good game.Take notice of the sweet quiet guy who opens the door and smiles shyly at you. Most likely, he’s the one you should be with.
I recently unearthed my “Rumi” book from college and the page with this poem was marked. This poem is as perfect now as it was to me 14 years ago when I marked the page. I hope you enjoy this poem as much as I do.
Quietness
Inside this new love, die.Your way begins on the other side.
Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall.
Escape.
Walk out like someone finally born into color.
Do it now.
You’re covered with thick cloud.
Slide out the side. Die,
and be quiet. Quietness is the surest sign
that you’ve died.
Your old life was a frantic running
from silence.
The speechless full moon
comes out now.
I’m beginning a new post series called The Week in “Say What?” simply because I encounter so many memes and videos that inspire some serious “Say What?” moments. Here are this week’s funny and awe inspiring internet moments:
1. “Offline Dating”: Choose Local. It’s Better for the Environment
This guy is brilliant. No one wants to travel to date someone in Manhattan…or anywhere. Choose Local.
2. According to Thought Catalog,
“This 10-Year-Old Girl Has The Soul Of 1,000 Drag Queens”
Because I’m an expert in this area, I’d have to say they are correct in their statement. Thought this may be troubling to some, the girl seriously knows how to throw down.
3. And this week’s true winner, takes a demented turn with
“Crazy Rhubarb Lady”
According to Gawker, “After a rash of rhubarb burglaries in a nondescript Iowa town, local residents set out to uncover the culprit — only to discover that the person behind the leafy larceny is exactly the kind of person you’d expect would steal someone else’s hard-grown rhubarb.”
4. And of course I must include this because I love Jimmy Fallon. Thousands of “Blurred Lines” adaptations are being recorded as we speak. at. this. very. moment.
5. And I’ll close with this little meme…just because I’m just a little dead inside.
As I peruse the internet (namely Etsy, Ebay, and various blogs), I’m noticing that there are a lot of really bad product shots happening. I’m talking dark photos, blurry photos… or you just really can’t see what it is the person is trying to sell.
Whether you’re a blogger or brand spankin’ new entrepreneur, there really is no reason for awful photography. I’m not saying that everyone has a pro photographer in them, but allow me to give you a few tips.
(All of you professional and newbie amateur photographers, stop reading now. I’m using my getto gorilla style methods and this may pain you to see).
(Product shot I took this of my favorite night skin oil from a little shop down south in Boca Raton, FL. This was taken with my iPhone at about 9am this morning in the shade.)
Here are a few very low budget methods and steps in taking a product shots for your small business or blog:
The camera: You don’t need a professional camera to take photos. Get started with your smart phone or even your cheap Kodak point & shoot will do the trick (if you can turn the flash off). It’s amazing how beautiful iPhone photographs come out.
Lights: You can get by without one of those fancy shmancy light kits, just photograph your items outside. Lighting is best in the early morning, late afternoon just before dusk, and on cloudy days. On cloudy days, clouds act as filters and distribute the light more evenly, therefore omitting ugly shadows. We don’t want dramatic shadows in your product shot. We want attractive, softly lit product. You want to be able to read the detail on your product.
Background: Keep it neutral. As a general rule, I use white craft paper. For this face oil product shot, I used a towel to give texture and because this product is something you usually use in the bathroom as your nightly beauty routine. There’s a good article on Etsy about styling photos and showing how they’ll be used.
Edit: There are so many easy and FREE photo editing tools available online that you can use. If you use your iPhone to shoot your product shot with, you can use instagram to lighten your photos (and promote your image/product at the same time) or use other photo apps like Phototastic, Fhotoroom, and many more. In these programs you can lighten your image by increasing the exposure if you get a dark shot or shadows. Bump up the contrast to bring more depth and color. Even your gmail (Picasa) or Google+ account offers a totally free photo editing suite for you point and shooters. Just go into the “picture” area of your Google+ account and upload your photo. You’ll be awestruck at what you can do with it in there. You can even crop in the Google+.
This is just to get you started on photographing your products effectively so that people can actually see what you’re trying to relay or illustrate.
Next up: how to photograph product shots once you get that mid-level Nikon or Canon.
Tricia Chatter 
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